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sherrocked:

My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
I’m so done with my life

(Source: amovible)

inimicaldolly:

generalivan:

princeaspartame:

eerieeriquitecontreeri:

dinosaursmooching:

icanttellyouwhotobe:

hiphopfightssnacks:

wait what i don’t get it

Lol it’s funny because fat people are always hungry which is why they’re fat lololol

I actually hate her

are you fucking kidding me

beginning to dislike her more and more

she is kind of rounded out herself so where does she even get the right??

but wow what a bitch

And here we have another case of Tumblr being brain dead retarded.

This fine man who had a fat joke made at his expense is Zach Galifianakis. Zach is an actor known for his comedic roles in movies such as the “Hangover” and is also known for his stand-up.

Zach has a comedy show called “Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis” a show where he interviews well known celebrities and “Maintains an awkward and often antagonistic demeanor with his guests, asking them bizarre and inappropriate questions mixed with off-handed non sequiturs on a set that intentionally resembles a low-budget amateur production fit for public-access television.”

So you see Tumblr, Jennifer Lawrence wasn’t actually being a bitch. She was ACTING like a bitch for the sake of comedy which Mr. Galifianakis himself was fully aware of because he wrote the script, thus making fun of himself.

Tumblr gettin’ schooled always has a place on my blog. 

(Source: stevemcqueened)

actualucifer:

astolat:

liminalzone:

notwithoutmycoffee:

Anyone notice that Tony has plans to build each Avenger their own floor at Stark Tower? He picks Captain America’s first.

I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS WHAT HE WAS DOING. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST REBUILDING. NOT PLOTTING EVERYONE’S APARTMENTS~ IN HIS TOWER. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

okay this is AWESOME, who is going to write the Tony Stark Interior Designer AU please

"I’m thinking a theme of muted sepia and cream, with dark blue notes — relaxing, yet masculine," Tony said. "What do you think?"

"Uh," Steve said. "Can I have a firm mattress?"

"Four-thousand springs Duxiana, buddy, nothing but the best for my team," Tony said. 

"…is that a yes or a no?" Steve said. 

"Okay, okay, buddy, I think you’re going a little overboard with the red. I think we can tone down the silver, too. What about, like, a nice pale gold? With like, shades of dark brown-green? Or is that too Loki…"
"Uh, Stark-"
"C’mon, Thor, gimme something to work with here. What kind of stand do you need for the hammer?"

"So I’m thinking lots of green and purple-"
Tony-“
"I’m kidding! What about pale blue? You know, those weird unnatural eggshell things. That’s a nice, calming colour. And like, a bit of pale yellow, too."
"I thought you wanted me to "embrace the beast" or whatever-"
"Not in my tower. Do not wreck my tower."

"So did you guys want like a double room, or-"
"Stark-"
I will rip your face off-“
"Alright, Blackhawk! Chill! I’m still thinking joined - hey! That record player actually cost stuff, you know?! You can’t just be tossing - and there’s my fridge. That’s heavy, you know. My mini-fridge is heavy - stop it!"

Nineteen things I’ve learned before I turned nineteen.
1. Always carry $5 and a lighter with you (even if you don’t smoke).
2. Ask every person you meet how their day is going. Genuinely ask with the sole intention of learning how their day is. Ask the coffee shop employee. Ask the person next to you in line at Walmart. Ask your distant friend. Ask everyone.
3. Take many photos of yourself. Take photos of yourself when you’re happy. Take photos of yourself when you’re sad. Take photos of yourself because there are millions of trees in the world, and we all look at the same sky, but there is only one of you.
4. Stay in contact with your parents. Try not to hate them. They are the reason you have the ability to feel anything at all. Try not to hate your parents.
5. Opening your skin will not set your demons free. Open your heart. Open your mind. Open your hands.
6. Nobody knows anybody completely. That’s okay.
7. Be gentle, but be aggressive. Take a stand. Nobody hears your voice if you stay silent.
8. Respect everybody. We are all humans trying to survive. We all deserve respect.
9. Wearing black will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself.
10. Always give tips, whether it be a couple extra dollars or a piece of mind. You never know how much you could be helping someone.
11. Change is the only thing consistent in life. Do not allow that bother you. Embrace chance and move with life, whichever direction it chooses to take you.
12. Smile often. Smile at strangers. Smile at your friends. Smile when nobody is looking and you’re alone in your bedroom. Smile when somebody is rambling to you.
13. Body image means nothing. Your body is merely just a seatbelt in the car. Your body is here to protect you. You choose the direction you go, and your body will not hold you back. Only you can hold yourself back.
14. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t allow yourself to hate anybody. Forgive them. Learn to love them for the person you never got to see them to be. Believe that a beautiful human exists in that person. Wish them well.
15. Drink orange juice. Lot’s of it.
16. Don’t allow the opinions of others to choose your destiny. We are all simply trying to live our own life.
17. Sing all the time. Sing off key. Sing in a silly voice. Sing like you’re on stage. Sing no matter who is around. Singing is breathing for the soul. Sing.
18. Take time to think. Write your feelings down. Write letters to the people you love. Texting is overrated and not as heartfelt as a nice handwritten letter.
19. Live for yourself. Breathe for yourself. Do everything in your life for nobody but you. This is your life. This is it.
Katey Chrest (via thinly)

archiemcphee:

Discussion of cosplay usually concerns the creation of awesome costumes. But some people don’t need to use a single piece of fabric, fiberglass, Wonderflex or EVA foam to create a spectacular look. Such is the case with Alexys Fleming, aka MadeYewLook, a completely self-taught make-up artist who can completely transform herself into anyone or anything using make-up, thoughtful lighting and sometime contact lenses and the occasional homemade headpiece or hat. Each character is so well-realized that some of the photos require a good long stare in order to find Lex’s actual facial features. And some of them are truly terrifying.

MadeYewLook also posts excellent tutorials on both her Facebook page and her YouTube channel. Even if you don’t want to try your hand at personal transformation with makeup, be sure to visit both her Facebook and YouTube accounts simply to check out many more of her incredible cosplay creations.

[via Kotaku Cosplay]

thefourteenthdoctor:

barrakuduh:

skiadrum96:

smile-love-shine:

clumsyglottologist:

clumsyglottologist:

*frantically slams button*

93,890 notes

that’s like 93,889 too many

what is wrong with you people

I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS POST THANKS.

imagine crime:

"GET DOWN HE’S GOT A ROOTY-TOOTY-POINT-N-SHOOTY"

I see absolutely no downside to this.

This would solve the gif/jif debate once and for all.

omfg can you imagine the conservative argument or the NRA

just

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